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  “What am I going to do?” Ify asks, not knowing if she means the unknown medical condition that has afflicted an entire hospital ward or the fifteen-year-old child soldier named Peter.

  CHAPTER

  12

  Like this, we are bringing rememberings to people.

  I am uploading copy of rememberings from hard drives into my brain and carrying them with me while I am walking with Xifeng and Enyemakas through streets of Lagos and down small small alleys, and sometimes we are walking up to the second level or third level of some houses and Xifeng is pulling out second drive and I am downloading rememberings into it. Sometimes we are carrying small projector with us and sometimes house is having own projector. We are connecting drive to projector, and family or sometimes man or sometimes woman or sometimes person who is not calling themself man or woman is watching. Sometimes there is water in their eyes because they are watching remembering of someone who is dead, someone who we are burying in desert. So they are sadding because they will never see this person again. And sometimes they are thanking me and Xifeng, and sometimes they are quiet and not saying any thing, and sometimes they are angry and breaking many thing.

  Xifeng is always ending projection with last moment of remembering. Sometimes is soldier crashing or being shot with bullet. Sometimes is person lying on ground who is moaning in pain and who is getting shot with bullet, and sometimes it is someone getting chop with machete. Sometimes person with remembering is not even soldier. Sometimes they are just being person in home or at school and they are being chop with machete or being shot with bullet. Sometimes there is loud boom and suddenly that is being the end of the remembering because there is bombing and person is too near. But many time, because we are finding so many rememberings in desert where battle and war is being fought, we are seeing soldier.

  On face of people watching the rememberings is many thing. Sometimes their face is like carving from stone or wood. Sometimes their face is like fast-changing weather. There is meadow, then is rain, then is thundering and lightning and katakata, and sometimes there is earth cracking and groaning and lava is shooting out. Many times in remembering, you are seeing face of someone who is doing the killing. You are seeing person who is shooting you or stabbing you with knife or chopping you with machete. You are seeing person who is walking by after planting bomb. You are seeing someone who is killing, and I am looking at the people in this room and I am thinking that they are seeing someone who is killing them.

  And then I am looking to Xifeng and seeing something that is looking like almost-smile on her face. Like this is thing that she is wanting. And it is making me to be feeling not-good.

  One time, man is asking us what we are doing when we are coming to his house. It is close to street in Lagos that is never sleeping and there is always thing happening and there is stealing and cooking and laughing and fighting and selling and buying and noise from all these thing come muffled through the walls of this man’s home.

  “Ms. Adebayo asked for us,” Xifeng is telling the man. “She reached out to me and my group, she gave us the information we asked for, and when we had gathered what she asked for, we returned.” She is taking a step to the man. “We interviewed her for details. And we spent a lot of time out there learning what happened to her son.” She is patting the sack that is holding her hard drive. “It was very important to her that she have this. Where is she?”

  For a long time, the man is saying nothing, just shaking. Then he is saying in quiet voice between teeth that is clenching, “My wife is dead. She has been dead for one year, three months, and eighteen days.” He inhales deeply, bringing so much air into his chest like it is being courage that he is gathering. “Whatever you’ve brought, I don’t want. I don’t want it.” He is shaking more, and I am thinking that he is losing control and soon he will be trying to attack Xifeng. I am readying to be hurting him.

  “Sir,” Xifeng says, but I am wanting to tell her that we must be leaving. Something bad is soon happening. I am smelling badness in the air and feeling it on my skin. The air is moving in way that is making me to feel like I will soon be fighting and killing, and I am not liking it.

  “She told me nothing of this,” the man says. “She did not speak a word of this! She never would have done this thing. Involve you . . . you Chinese! How dare you come into my house like this! Odoodo! You know nothing about my son!” He is taking table and he is flipping it, and lamp and bowl is falling off and breaking on the floor, and he is taking small thing and throwing it against the wall over and over while he is shouting at us. “She’s dead! And she told me nothing of this! You know nothing of my son! And you never spoke to my wife! You are lying! Odoodo, get out of my house!”

  I am moving to protect Xifeng, but even as I am doing this thing, I am seeing that he is not mad at us but he is being mad at his wife who is dying without telling him she is doing this, and maybe he is mad at son too for dying.

  “That’s it,” he is saying, and it is looking like he is calming down, but I am seeing his vital signs and heart rate, and I know that he is still dangerous, and I am seeing him reach for his temple as he is saying, “I’m calling the police,” and I am rushing fast fast to him, and I am crossing the whole room in one step, and my fingers are wrapping around his wrist and holding him still, and he is fearing me with his eyes and looking at me like I am monster who is trapping his wrist like this.

  Blood is rushing in my ears, then I am hearing Xifeng saying soft soft, “Uzo.” Then, again, “Uzo, it’s okay. We’re leaving.” She looks to the man and says, with firmer voice, “We’re leaving. We’re going. We’re sorry to bother you.”

  But I am knowing this man and how he is. I am knowing that as soon as I am letting him go, he is calling police on us. And I know this is being dangerous for us because before we get to Lagos, Xifeng is telling me that nobody is to be knowing what we are doing. It is against the law to be speaking of the war. In fact, it is against the law to even be remembering it. She is telling me of people who are having their rememberings of the war emptied out by the virus the government is feeding into their brains. And it is being our mission to be freeing them. To be helping them to remember what is happening, that war is happening, and that killing and dying is happening, and she is telling me that it is important to be remembering these thing because it is helping it not to happen again. And government is being wrong and we are being right and, like this, I am being soldier but in bigger and better war.

  “Uzo,” Xifeng saying to me. “Uzo, let go of the man’s wrist.”

  But I am not wanting to. I am wanting him to be quiet. I am wanting to snap his neck so he is not shouting and making much noise. I am wanting to bury his body and be erasing him from the world so no one is even knowing he is existing. But Xifeng is telling me to let go, and she is saying it soft soft like she is speaking to me when I am having epileptic fit and wanting to be held by her.

  So I am letting go, and man is falling to the floor and holding his wrist, and he is sadding and telling us, “Please leave me, please, please go away from here,” and Xifeng and I are walking out and we are walking fast, but when we are getting to mouth of alleyway where it is leaking into main street, we are stopping because police are gathering, dressed in all black like beetle walking on two legs.

  People are scattering out of street like water as ground mech is stomping through and is turning its head left and right and scanning buildings with red light. Police like beetle is scurrying all over the place. Some people are shouting but most are quiet quiet, like this is thing that happens every day. Like this is weather.

  Enyemakas are standing in different places in city center, and I am communicating with them and they are telling me where police is blocking off road and where police is entering building and where police is leaving, and I am seeing map of city in my head and this is how I am figuring out where to go.

  I pull Xifeng behind me, and we are
running up metal staircase next to building on other side of alley until we are getting to final level, then I am saying to Xifeng, Get on my back, and she is climbing on but is spending too much time fitting hard drive into her bag, but I am carrying her onto rooftop then letting her stand by herself.

  Everywhere is roof made of corrugated steel or red brick. On some, there is glass stuck along edge of rooftop to cut hands of people grabbing. I am seeing all of this instantly. I am also seeing police in street with big gun noticing us.

  I am grabbing Xifeng’s arm and pulling her just as bullets are hitting near us PING PING, and we are running and jumping to other rooftop and our footstep is bang DHUM DHUM DHUM on roofs as we run and jump, run and jump, run and jump.

  Bullet is following us as we turn away from street and run and jump from roof to roof. Ahead is glass on one ledge, so I am grabbing Xifeng’s arm and bracing myself and throwing her over, then running, and putting my hands to the glass and jumping over. And before Xifeng is catching her breath, we are running again and bullet is finding us and then I am hearing bootstep beneath us and there is big jump ahead because houses are on lower slope and we are jumping, and as we are jumping I am hearing large crash of brick and metal coming open. Xifeng is rolling on roof and I am rolling on roof, and when I am looking up large metal soldier that they are calling juggernaut is running toward us. Stomping stomping stomping like giant made of metal.

  “Mogwai,” Xifeng whispers, and I know that she is seeing vision of demon from ancient Chinese myth, but I am seeing only machine that is trying to kill us and that is why fear is making Xifeng not to be moving but I am feeling no such thing. My retinal display is telling me what metal it is being made out of and where it is being organic and human and how it is using energy and motion to propel itself and where its weapon is being stored, and I am learning all of this in less than one second. We must run.

  I am grabbing Xifeng and putting her on my back just as she is grabbing bag with hard drive, and we are running while juggernaut is chasing us.

  Light is shining us from above, and I am seeing in my mind’s eye that drone is following us and is readying guns to be firing on us. So we go right, and I am jumping and we are crashing through window of home and Xifeng is flying off of my back and my legs are paining me and my hands are bleeding from the glass. I am hearing crying, and baby is nearby. Then something large is hitting my side, and I am flying through the air and hitting wood and glass with my back.

  When I am looking up, I am seeing police looking at me with rifle pointed and finger on trigger. Before I am knowing what I am doing, I have sharp piece of wood in my hand and I am rolling to avoid bullets pinging like THWIP THWIP into ground, then rushing forward and knocking gun away and kicking leg of police and ripping off helmet and stabbing him with wood in neck.

  Before other police are coming, I am looking for Xifeng and I am seeing her across hallway in other room and I am walking to her when wall is exploding and juggernaut is standing in front of me. It is smacking me all the way into other room, and I am crashing through wall and flying through air. At last minute, I am flipping myself and holding on to metal railing, but metal is bad and creaking from my heaviness and breaking and breaking. And my back and my side and my legs—all of these is paining me. But I am pulling myself up and jumping into room just before balcony is falling into street. I am walking bad and there is being blood on me, but I am noticing rifle and I am hearing Xifeng screaming from far away and I am trying to find other Enyemakas with my mind but am hearing nothing, and this is how I am knowing that they are dead.

  I am picking up rifle and then walking to hallway and seeing juggernaut, and just in front of him is Xifeng lying on ground and shaking. And I am aiming rifle and I am shooting and shooting. But bullet is going ping ping ping and is doing nothing to him.

  But he is stopping and turning to me and he is running STOMP STOMP STOMP. And I am running too, but I am sliding under his legs, and then I am seeing Xifeng and I am grabbing her and putting her over my shoulder and I am running to window and jumping through onto other balcony, then I am seeing line of balconies in direction of end of city and I am running and jumping hop hop hop from one to the next and the next. Drone is appearing beside to me and shooting at my feet. Then I am seeing maglev cars in traffic below and I am jumping down onto them and I am running and jumping and people are shouting at me but I am not hearing them, just BUDUDUDUDUDU from drone shooting at me, and I am sending signal out for any Enyemaka and hearing nothing and sending signal and hearing nothing and sending signal and BOOM—

  * * *

  ■ ■ ■ ■ ■

  I am wishing to be telling you that I am knowing what is happening right after, but I am spending many hours searching my memory, and there is being only darkness. I am not knowing what is happening to me after explosion. I am remembering that the first thing I am seeing is tiny hole of light coming from sky. Everything is shadow, and this is how I know I am being covered. And I am first thinking that this is what night is. That it is just blackness with tiny hole of light. But it is bodies. Many bodies piled on top of me. And then I am remembering the bodies are falling away. It is sounding like someone is dragging their foots on the dirt road, then it is sounding like a shirt rustling in wind, like someone is wearing a shirt too big for them and running down dirt road, and when I think of this thing, I am thinking that the person wearing this shirt should be giggling. I am liking the sound in my brain.

  As more and more bodies are coming away, I am seeing that light is bigger. Big big. So big it is paining my eyes to look at. I am wanting to raise my arms to block out the light, but I cannot move them because there are more bodies on top of them.

  I am not hearing any words anywhere, not even wind, just crunching of stones and rustling like clothes and shuffling like feet wearing slippers on road until many bodies tumble away at once and I am seeing blue and white and gold and red, and I must close my eyes because it is too much. And air is feeling cold on my skin because there is no more pile of smelling bodies crushing me. But air is also paining me like many many knife on my skin. It is burning, and I am hearing sizzle like meat is cooking.

  Then, I am waking up. Is no body on top of me. Just metal. Many many pieces of metal, and it is burning. I am not sure why I am thinking of when Enyemaka are pulling me from pile of bodies and finding me and I am joining them and meeting Xifeng and finding purpose. But my body is shaking shaking.

  I am trying to see with my mind’s eye but it is broken and I am not being able to access maps or reach out to Enyemakas. I am alone.

  If I am closing my eyes tight, I am making my body to stop shaking and I am being able to pull myself out from under pile of metal that is trapping me. I am not able to be standing straight because one leg is being twisted wrongly, but it is not paining me so I am dragging it while fire burns around me.

  It is still night, but smoke is blocking the stars. There is still some people in street taking picture of car wreckage with their phones, and I am hurrying away and taking cover behind other burning car and moving from shadow to shadow and hoping no one and nothing is seeing me.

  And I am stumbling into darkness until I am finding forest and rain is hitting me through the leaves. It is making the ground soft soft and I am falling many time, and one time I am falling and letting myself lie still and hoping that the mud will rise and drink me entirely so my body is not paining me anymore. I am thinking that maybe this is what it is meaning to be sadding. You are wanting the earth to be consuming you.

  I am thinking of Xifeng and how I am not looking for her, I am just thinking of running away. And I am thinking that I am coward and bad person to be doing this. Xifeng is protecting me and giving me purpose and telling me that I am not child of war and that I am good person and I am just leaving her behind.

  I am trying to reach her with my mind’s eye, but I am hearing nothing. I am sending signal and hearing not
hing and sending signal and hearing nothing and water is falling from my eyes.

  CHAPTER

  13

  Ify watches the pro-immigration demonstration from the window of her office, arms folded, brow furrowed. Among the marchers are Black and brown protestors, and sprinkled throughout are cadres of Japanese protestors with banners bearing slogans in kanji. At the head of the march are mestizos and descendants of the First Nation tribes, alternating verses of a song they chant at full volume, their arms linked together. Many protestors wear traditional garb from their cultures, but many more wear the dress of those who’ve acclimated to Alabast, simple-colored loose-fitting shirts and blouses and suit jackets. Red and blue and white and green and pink and orange, but throughout the procession, a shimmer. Many of these people can afford to take the day off from work to protest the government’s new hardline immigration policy. Among them is Grace, holding a placard of her own with slogans in Alabastrine English, French, Dutch, and Traditional Chinese characters.

  You care too much, Ify wants to tell the girl, who, were she in Ify’s position, would be risking not just her job but her medical license as well. If Grace wants to be the best medical care provider she can be, she should focus on her studies. Focus on actual patient care: the checking of vital signs, conducting the right tests, offering the correct prognoses. She shouldn’t be waving a poster in the air and shouting like some rabble-rouser. But Ify hears them call for shutting down the Jungle, and the images return to Ify. The horror and the squalor.

  She turns away from the window and finds herself thinking of the boy whose hand she’d picked up and dropped at the hospital the other day. Completely unresponsive. Afterward, she and Grace had overseen the insertion of a feeding tube through his nose. No reaction whatsoever.